Already, 12 days into the month of March, I want to give up. I want to throw in the towel. I don’t want to worry about disciplining the kids anymore and dealing with the arguments. I choose not to clean the house. I refuse to make breakfast, lunch and dinner on anyone’s schedule, other then my own. In other words, I feel like a whining, spoiled, bratty teenager, that isn’t getting her own way (just like the one in New Jersey, who’s suing her parents. Same concept). Why, you may ask? Because my reality is far more challenging, stressful and ridiculously eventful, then I had bargained for. We can all say, that at some point and time in our lives, we have come across a person, a situation, a particular challenge, that makes us give the “turn tail and run” method a fair shot into making it into our first choice of reactions list.
Personally, I can tell you the first time I felt the need to run away from a stressful situation, was when I was in school and wasn’t exactly the most popular girl in class. To be honest, I was a lanky, skinny, hyper child with no self-esteem, what-so-ever. The fact that the other kids were mean, rich, sure-of-themselves snobs didn’t help much. So I started doing poorly in school and convinced my parents to homeschool me, in order to get away from the other kids. Hindsight (which, yes, it is a b$%*@), shows me that what I really needed was some social skills and a self-esteem booster in the form of a club or other organized activity that I would have enjoyed or exceled at. The latest challenge has come in the form of a certified mailing of court papers for joint custody of my 8 year old son (which, I am happy to update, has been “withdrawn due to insufficient stability in which to raise and take care of the minor child”). Thank God for small miracles.
But why do we feel this way at all? What is the meaning of having all of this drama and stress in our lives (in or out of our control)? Why does our brain say that we should freak out about things? Granted, some people are a bit “public” about their personal freak outs. Technically, I suppose a blog could be a bit “public” as well, although it is not meant to be aired as “dirty laundry”. It simply is a conundrum that I want to decipher, so that I can help myself, and maybe others, to deal with the life in a more effective manor. Since I have yet to figure any of these things out, I will just share what makes me feel better and hope that it may be useful to someone, somewhere. And also, feel free to share what helps you get through the tough times as well!!
1. Wine and friends. They go together. Just saying.
I put this sign up and tell the kids that Mommy needs a time out. I get left alone pretty quickly…occasionally my kitchen or living room is mysteriously cleaned. 🙂
I pick up one of the books in my favorite series and escape my reality. It usually works pretty well. If the photo above does not accurately depict my favorite series, I will clarify.: Diana Gabaldon is the Author. It is her famous Outlander series that will be a TV series on Starz this summer. Just saying.
When I am calm enough to think rationally, I immerse myself in my Faith. That might be by reading the Bible, finding bible verses online, burning sage, going outside, etc. There are a ton of ways to find a spiritual path in amidst all this technology. SO whatever yours is, find it and follow it.
This is very true, and when things come into focus for me, I can look at my particular problem with clear eyes. I try to look at all things from different points of view, so that I can make better sense of things, or even to understand someone else’s reasoning. It’s not always easy, but to realize that the problem will end and life will go on is a great silver lining to look forward to.
When a problem is close to resolved, I always look for self improvement. I am the first one to admit that I am not perfect. In any way, shape, form, idea…you get the point. But I will try to fix an “Me Problem”. The fact that I detest the act of hanging up and putting away the laundry is a form of being seriously lazy. I realize this, so I will try and push through it and honestly. it doesn’t take as long as I always think it will and I realy do feel a sense of accomplishment once its finished. Here is a list of Self-Improvement things I have hanging up in my room that I like to remind myself to work at 🙂
When all else fails, I call/message/text my best friend. She is over 2,000 miles away and I miss her every day, but she saves me from the darkest depths of my mind. I know if I need her, all I have to do is call and she knows the same goes for her. ❤
SO that is all I have for what works for me. Here's to hoping that life gets a little calmer and a bit more tolerable as each day passes. Or atleast the bottles of wine stay full 🙂