Last night I saw this article:
35 Secrets of being a special needs parent. It is on TheMighty.com website.
I decided to pick some of my favorites and added my own comments.
“I cry. All the time. Joy, frustration, exhaustion, successes, good days, bad days — I cry for all of them.” — I honestly don’t think there has been one day in the past four years that I haven’t cried.
“You’ll need a sense of humor… Fast!” — The only way I’d ever survive.
“It’s a lot harder than it looks. It infiltrates every crevice of your life and affects every minute of every hour of every day. It’s right there when you wake up in the morning and doesn’t stop challenging you until bedtime (and doesn’t stop even then).” — So very true. It consumes me. I try to have the most normal life possible for me, my husband and my two “typical” kids, but I never ever can forget how our life is ultimately different.
“You are not weak when you get angry and upset.” — I have to vent and rant and rave, to stay sane.
“You know your kid best. Don’t be concerned with what others say. Trust your gut.” — especially with his family on his Dad’s side
“You’re now in a secret world. You’ll see things you never imagined: ignorance, rudeness and discrimination. But you’ll also witness so many everyday miracles, and you’ll know it. You won’t think a milestone is just a milestone, you’ll know it’s a miracle and be present in that moment. You’ll treasure things most wouldn’t think twice about. You’ll become an advocate, an educator, a specialist and a therapist, but most of all, you’ll be a Mom to the most wonderful child.” — couldn’t of said it better.
“It’s lonely. But when you meet someone who gets it, it’s transforming.”— I can’t even begin to tell you how wonderful support groups are….
“There is consistency in routines.” — Not just for Cameron, but for me as well. It gives me a sense of calm, that can help me deal with Cameron so much better.
“I’ve found that optimism is exhausting and realism is a source of comfort.” — I remember being such an optimistic person growing up and in my younger days. Now I realize that being realistic about things doesn’t give you such a let down.
“It’s about progress, not perfection.” — Even the slightest bit of progress makes me feel like he is getting somewhere, and I always remember that every little step forward, might not be there tomorrow. Enjoy it while you can.
“Some things may never get better, but your ability to deal with that problem will improve.” — I hold onto this advice that someday this will come true…lol
“You have to also take care of yourself.” — This is a quote from the website, but to be honest, I credit this tidbit of information to my Mother-In-Law, who has to be the coolest woman I have ever met. She sat me down a long time ago and told me that I am worthless to Cameron, if I do not take care of myself. It took me a couple years, but I found out yoga does wonders for my mental health and my physical health, and THAT allows me to deal with Cameron’s meltdowns and temper tantrums in a better state of mind.
I know this post really doesn’t have an agenda, but hopefully someone will read this and get a better grasp of what special needs parents go through. Or maybe a special needs parent will finally feel understood. Or maybe even a special needs sibling will read this and know that they have the same feelings as their parents sometimes and that could bring them closer together.
Because you just never know who your words could touch.